Josiah the Enabler.
Me: I'm going to buy this for you
Josiah: No, that's creepy and expensive.
Me: you're welcome.
Josiah: I hate you.
Me: that's not something you say to someone who just bought you a $99 black velvet faced doll.
Josiah: yes, actually. It is.
Me: does that mean thank you in your language?
Josiah: No.
Me: I'm going to pretend that you said yes.
Josiah: Please don't.
Me: you're welcome Josiah. How would you like said doll to be packaged?
Josiah: YOU'RE THE WORST. I DON'T WANT IT.
Me: you seem to be finding it difficult to find the words to thank me
Josiah: Urgh. This is why you're single. You with your crazy
Me: I'm going to put this on my blog. and change all your words to say thank you. THANK YOU VANESSA.THANK YOU FOR THE DOLL.
Josiah:I HATE YOU SO MUCH. THANK YOU VANESSA. THANK YOU FOR THE DOLL.
Me: you're welcome. I'm sorry that the doll is used.
Josiah:THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE. This is the greatest day of my life.
Me: I don't even know what that means, but there are stains on its face.
Josiah: It's creepy and disgusting and I hate it. And I hate you.
Me: in your language that translates to: that doll has the face of an angel. I want to sleep with it
in my arms and rub its velvet face on my cheek while I try to sleep.
Josiah: If you weren't so cute you'd never get away with this sort of thing.
Me: I have a few years left of this nonsense.
Josiah: At least.
Black Doll found on eBay for $99. What a bargain!
Josiah: No, that's creepy and expensive.
Me: you're welcome.
Josiah: I hate you.
Me: that's not something you say to someone who just bought you a $99 black velvet faced doll.
Josiah: yes, actually. It is.
Me: does that mean thank you in your language?
Josiah: No.
Me: I'm going to pretend that you said yes.
Josiah: Please don't.
Me: you're welcome Josiah. How would you like said doll to be packaged?
Josiah: YOU'RE THE WORST. I DON'T WANT IT.
Me: you seem to be finding it difficult to find the words to thank me
Josiah: Urgh. This is why you're single. You with your crazy
Me: I'm going to put this on my blog. and change all your words to say thank you. THANK YOU VANESSA.THANK YOU FOR THE DOLL.
Josiah:
Me: you're welcome. I'm sorry that the doll is used.
Josiah:
Me: I don't even know what that means, but there are stains on its face.
Josiah: It's creepy and disgusting and I hate it. And I hate you.
Me: in your language that translates to: that doll has the face of an angel. I want to sleep with it
in my arms and rub its velvet face on my cheek while I try to sleep.
Josiah: If you weren't so cute you'd never get away with this sort of thing.
Me: I have a few years left of this nonsense.
Josiah: At least.
That Josiah guy sounds like a real winner. If I was an attractive, charming, witty, intelligent girl who doesn't mind putting up with a sardonic, condescending, stupid-floppy-haired 20 something guy who perennially fails to live up to his potential I'd totes date him.
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