Look whose in heat.

This morning started like every other morning...with a nice twitter hit. I'm hardly addicted anymore. I think lately I just go on twitter because I like having a reason to run my finger down my iPhone. It also gives me something to do during lectures. Because they are boring. OH MY GOSH ARE THEY BORING. Sometimes when I'm  running my finger down my screen I stop and read things people have posted. Not often though. Unless I like you and find you interesting, let's be honest I don't find many people interesting but that's not the point. The point is I jumped on twitter and something caught my eye. 

The Tweet of the Week.

This got me thinking. How many people know what 'in heat' means? Who told those people? Why were they told? And also, why doesn't everyone know what it means? So many questions. This blog isn't going to answer any of them because frankly, I have better things to do. I will, however, tell you how I found out.

The Story of How I Got Told What 'in heat' Meant - By Vanessa Chamizo

As a child I had lots of toys. Especially stuffed toys. I LOVED STUFFED ANIMALS. Anyway, these were sprawled around my bed in an unkempt manner as I was a child and had no reason, need or desire to put them in any sort of order. I also had a puppy. Well, it wasn't really a puppy. It was a dog. I suppose she was once a puppy but that's not the point, she was a dog at the time. 

Often I would arrive home from school and find my favorite teddy (which was located in the center of my bed as that was the place for the favorite toy) either on the floor or on the corner of my bed. I didn't understand why anyone would move it or why it was sometimes wet. One afternoon, after an average day of school I walked into my bedroom to find my dog climbing on top of my teddy and playfully chewing her ear. I thought it was delightful and proceeded to watch for a moment before running off to get my parents. Let me state that I was a good child. I found my dog doing something entertaining and I thought I'd share it with the world. I finally convinced my mum to come see what the dog was doing. 

When I got her into my room I pointed and grinned up at her with an expression that said, 'hey mum look what she's doing. I love you so much that I thought I'd share this with with you'. Anyway long story short, she was less than amused by the dog-teddy shenanigans. She yelled at the dog to stop and pulled the teddy away. The poor dog looked as if she had been interrupted mid-wrestling match. She eyed the teddy longingly. And fair enough, she was in the middle of a game. My mum put the teddy in the wash and explained to me that the dog was in heat and it made her want to play with my toys in a special way. A special way because she loved them. Because she thought that my childhood teddy bears were in some way objects that she could use to reproduce. Disgusting little freak dog. THOSE WERE MY CHILDHOOD TOYS! Anyway, that's how I found out what 'in heat' was. I was very suspicious of my dog from that point on. You can't just move on and pretend that nothing has happened after you've witnessed something like that. Some things a child never forgets. Like the smell of your grandma's bedroom...and the image of your favorite teddy being raped by your dog while you watch on in glee.