Lower your expectations, alright? This blog's a bit odd...

I haven't written a post in ages. By ages I mean a month. There is a very good reason for this of course...alright, maybe it's not even a reason, maybe more of an excuse but whatever. The reason is *drum roll please* I haven't done anything interesting. Nothing. Absolutely nothing at all. When I think back over the last month all I can remember doing is attending university classes and working, which are basically two of the most mundane tasks anyone has to do. The only reason I'm blogging at all at the moment is because I told my friend I would. And also because I'm thinking way too much about serious things and you know what they say 'don't deal with serious issues, ignore them by blogging for your 6 fans'. Okay, fine, people don't say that. I say that to myself. Point is, we're here now so let's at least attempt this. We'll pretend this is going to work out well. Just like when people get married at 19 and they tell themselves that if they really, really try it'll all work out. Who are you kidding? This is a train wreck already. Let me think of something to write about.

2 hours and 1 draft later...


Yikes, this blogging business is hard. All I can think about is how much I want pancakes. Mmmmm pancakes. Strawberry pancakes. With ice-cream. Oh and maple syrup. I LOVE MAPLE SYRUP. Thank Jesus for Canadians and their syruping ways because without them pancakes just wouldn't be worth it. I'm talking about life by the way. Life wouldn't be worth living without maple syrup. I can hear you all cringe and mutter things like, 'that's a stupid thing to say' and 'only fat people love syrup THAT much'. Which is strange because technically I'm writing this from the past so hearing your mutterings is next to impossible but regardless. To your mutterings I say, stop talking to your computer you little weirdo.

Three paragraphs in and I have a feeling this blog is going to be full of pointless mutterings. I'm still going to post it. And you'll read about half of it before you bail. In a few months I'll look back and laugh at it, I won't delete it though, because that's not how I roll...yo. I say yo because I'm gangsta. GANGSTA AS!

I've been spending a lot of time on twitter lately. I think it has something to do with procrastinating and also the fact that I might be going crazy and feel the need to document every second of it on twitter. One day, doctors will look back at all my tweets and be all, 'there. Right there. That's when she lost it completely'. I'm doing them a favor. The point is, I'm so addicted that I even get notifications on my phone when someone tweets something to me. It makes me feel loved because now my phone goes off at uni all the time and I'm all like, 'oh don't mind my phone, those are just my friends wanting to tell me something because we're cool and popular and I have lots of friends. Just over 300 of them as a matter of fact'. And the other kids in class turn and look at me funny because I'm sitting alone in class explaining the phone situation to empty chairs. It's alright though, I will just tweet something spiteful on twitter about them. That'll show you guys!

Alright, let's make jokes about gingers. That's always a crowd pleaser. By crowd pleaser I mean people send me angry messages about how that's offensive and gingers have souls. But we all know that's not true. Gingers  have no souls. That being said, I dyed my hair a dark red. The first time I attempted it I ended up with meningitis but now I'm better. It's not really red anyway, it's sort of purple. Purple and red. Rurple ©. Yes, it does sound like an attractive colour. I'm copyrighting that term too. I assume that to copyright something you just need to put the little © logo next to it. Oh dear, I got off topic again.

Hmm regarding gingers, did you know they hatch from eggs? Just like snakes and lizards...but not at all like chickens and ducks because chickens and ducks are adorable and gingers are not. This one time I spent 3days inside and I went a little bit crazy, anyway, long story short I drew hair and a face on an egg and told my mum that I was going to hatch a ginger. It's easy, you know, you just have to put it in a pot of dirt and water it with orange coloured water/juice/cordial because that's where they get all their vitamins that make their hair go red. I don't have a theory of where or how they get their superpowers but give me a few days and I'll come up with something.

Anyway, here's a ginger egg I prepared/found in the garden earlier. He's sleeping. I think his name would be Geoffry. We'd call him Geoffy for short.

A ginger egg that I definitely did not make.