The Adventures of Wristy

A few months ago I got a friend request from a guy I did not know. I accepted it anyway. My friend Jamie and I decided we would chat to him as often as possible until I scared him into deleting me. I assume it was intended to teach him not add randoms. Anyway, our plan eventually worked and he deleted me.

Then Jamie and I found we missed him so we waited a few months and added him again. To my surprise he accepted and we began our little tango all over again. Only this time our intention wasn’t to get him to delete me. I’m not sure what the intention was, possibly to see how irritating I could be before he deleted me again. Anyway, instead of calling him by his name (Risto) I decided to call him Wristy. Mostly because it was funnier and also to be annoying.

Wristy usually makes suggestive remarks and I pretend I don’t understand what he’s talking about. If he’s not making these sorts of comments he tells me to go away. I assume because his girlfriend is around and he does not want to be caught. I like him. These are our conversations.

Conversation 1:

*Insert crude joke here*

Me: What’s that?

Wristy: Come see me and u will find out

Me: Can you not just explain it now?

Wristy: Nah abbe what u doignt omoz night?

Me: Whose abbe?

Wristy: Nah abbe
babe
what u doign tomoz/
night?

Me: Work meeting til 8

Wristy: Wanna see me affter it

Me: Are you bringing lollies?

Wristy: Yep
wanna talk on the fone?

Me: I don’t own a phone

Wristy: house foine?

Me: I dont have one

Wristy: Mmm

Me:  I have a carrier pigeon. I could send it to your house and you could attach a little note to its food but its not a very efficient system.

Wristy: Bye

Me: Where you going?

Wristy: Bed

Me: But its early
and i was going to send my pigeon over
i already got the cage and everything

Wristy: Nah oin bed got wokr bnye

Conversation 2:

Me: Wristy

 

Wristy: Go away

 

Me: Why?

Me again: Why?

Wristy: Seya

 

Me: What?

Me: My name is not Seya

Wristy: Bye

Me: When are we catching up for lollies?

Wristy: Ever

Me: Tomorrow is no good for me

Wristy: Never

Me: Why not? Didnt you say you wanted to get lollies?

 

Wristy: No

 

Me: You did

Me: I remember

Wristy: No

Wristy: Sya

Me: Alright wristy, i will cancel all my plans tomorrow and we can get lollies then.

*Wristy goes offline but doesn’t delete me*