Hey Wristy, you're so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey Wristy!

Me: Wristy!

Wristy: sup hun?

Me: I am terrible distraught.

Wristy: y?

Me: my carrier pigeon has not returned with your reply yet. I fear something has happened to him.

Wristy: wat the f***

Me: did you kill my pigeon?

Wristy: f** u dont stop do u

Me: excuse me?

Wristy: yea

Me: why? He was such a pleasant bird, never had any trouble with him. Except for the occasional eye gouging.

Wristy: wats rong wit u?

Wristy: ur bein annoyin

Me: I never annoy you

Me: I was just going to ask you how your day was

Wristy: ogo alwys

Me: my day was good, very busy. I went shopping and bought christmas presents. I forgot to get yours but I still have time.

Me: do you still want that christmas sweater? The one with a big fat santa on it?

Wristy: f*** of

Me: you’re welcome to choose the design

Wristy is offline.

Thus concludes the adventures of Wristy. At least for a few months until he forgets about the pigeons and accepts my request again.