It's Just A Messaging Service (Part 2)

4. The awkward caller. These are callers that for some reason don’t hear you announce that you’re from a messaging service and talk to you as if you’re the person they called.

Me: you’ve called Mary’s phone, what is your message?

Caller: MARY! How are you sweetie? We’ve just finished organizing Nick’s party and would..

Me: no it’s just a message service.

Caller: are you Mary’s daughter? Can you put her on?

Me: I can’t because it’s a message service, you can leave a message or call her back later.

5. The callers who just don’t understand. Although most of my callers are incapable of understanding what a messaging service is they usually admit to it. Sometimes I get callers who listen to me repeatedly say it’s a message service and state that they understand, however, based on the way the conversation goes they usually don’t.

Me: you’ve reached the tree cutter’s message service, your name, number and message please?

Caller: can you put Bertha on please.

Me: it’s a message service.

Caller: yes I know that!

Me: um, okay? Did you want to leave a message?

Caller: when are you open?

Me: it’s a message service?

Caller: so you don’t know what time you’re open?!

Me: I don’t work there, it’s an external messaging service

Caller: well just put Bertha on please.

Me: I can’t because it’s a message service, I just take messages.

Caller: when will she be available?

Me: Look, it’s a message service. I don’t work for the company. I don’t know Bertha and I don’t know when she’ll be available.

Caller: can I leave a message then?

Me: you sure can.

6. The callers who think you’re a machine and say ‘I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MACHINE, I WAS WAITING FOR THE BEEP LOLOLOLOLOLOL’. That is not funny. It wasn’t funny the first time I heard it and it’s definitely not funny 10,000 times later. Often my response to this joke it to sit silently until they give up laughing and get on with their message.

Me: you’ve reached Matilda’s message service, your message please?

*silence*

Caller: HAHAHA I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MACHINE, I WAS WAITING FOR THE BEEP LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

*silence on my end, laughing on theirs*

Me: do you want to leave a message?

Caller: yes please.