Making A Boo Radley

Often I get invited places and find it difficult to come up with on-the-spot excuses so I agree to attend. This results in my social calender filling up particularity on days/nights where I would rather be at home watching movies alone. To help other in a similar situation I decided to write a list of excuses to get out going to places/events that I/you do not want to attend. I figure I can also use this list if I develop a case of agoraphobia. Next time someone invites you to something you don’t want to go to you can pull out your trusty iphone, find my blog and read one of these excuses to the invitee.

Excuses to get out of something you’ve already agreed to

• Forgotten dinner plans with the family (unless your attempting to get out of dinner with the family, then change it to forgotten dinner plans with friends or your plush toy collection)
• Realizing you have an assignment due within the next 3 days and need to work on that.
• PMS. No one will argue with this. Unless you’re a guy, even then it’s unlikely to be disputed.
• Illness (remember: be specific. Vomiting is always nice.)
• Emergencies.
• A friend’s break up.
• Your own break up. If you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend to break up with then just make one up. My invisible friend Mr. Ravioli is always free.
• Death of a pet

Excuses to avoid having to agree to something within the next few hours

• Needing to wash your hair
• Cleaning your room/house/car/closet/bird cage.
• Lack of transportation/petrol
• Having other plans is a good excuse. Saying things like, ‘oh I would but I already have plans for tonight’ or ‘I’ve got something on tonight’ works a treat. Unless they ask you what the plans are. Then you need to scroll down and use some of the following.

Other plans:

• I have a date.
• I have to get a blood test.
• I need to study for an exam.
• I made plans to go to *insert made up friends name here*’s house to watch movies.
• I’m working.
• I’m working the late shift.
• I’m working all night.
• I’m working tomorrow morning.
• I don’t like brunch.

Excuses that will stop people inviting you places

• I need to spend more time zeroing in on my work regarding time travel.
• I will be lost in time that day because I didn’t spend enough time on my time travel device.
• I would go to *insert event* but I’m busy being dead that day.
• I can see the future so I know that on that day I will accidentally lose all my clothes and need to go home to hide my shame and get new ones.
• Being admitted into a psychiatric ward.

Offensive Excuses

• I do not want to see you.
• I have nothing to do that day but I choose to do nothing instead of attending your event.
• I will say that I am attending but I plan on standing you up so put me down as a no.
• Give me some paper so I can write a list of all the things I would rather do than spend time with you. Hint: you will need to bring lots of paper.
• No.

By the way Boo Radley is the recluse in To Kill A Mockingbird so the title is implying that these excuses will enable someone to become home bound.