Reasons I Am A Vampire

I have been sick with the plague for nearly four days now. Of these four days, I have spent the last three inside my house in a dimly lit room, covered in a blanket watching the UEFA games that my father cleverly recorded for me.  For 30 seconds today I stood at the front door holding the telephone out for my mother. It was during those 30 seconds that I discovered that the sun was actually burning out my eyes/skin combo.  From that I concluded that at some point throughout the last four days I had actually turned into a vampire. I explained this to my mother and she said I must have had a fever. That might be true but I’m still going to write a list of reasons why I could have turned into a vampire.

1. The sun burns me.

2. I like the dark.

3. I have lost my appetite for food.

4. My skin is cold.

5. I want to kill Bella Swan.

Since I couldn’t come up with anymore I have decided to write a new list of reasons I am not a vampire.

1. I haven’t been outside because I am sick and would prefer to be tucked in bed.

2. The dark helps me sleep.

3. I’m sick.

4. I have a fever.

5. Everyone hates Bella Swan.