Repressed Childhood Memories
I'm sick. Because of this I have decided to spend my Friday night playing on the internet. One of my favorite twitter people posted a link to Las Ketchup and I decided that watching video clips from songs that I grew up with would be harmless fun. Right? Wrong. It started with Las Ketchup then went to the Vengaboys. Onto S Club 7, then N Sync. Naturally the backstreet boys soon followed and then Spice Girls. But that's where the party stops because in flooded all the repressed childhood memories I had.
You see as a child I was reasonably shy. Maybe shy is the wrong word. I was reserved. I didn't really like participating in things and would usually keep my opinions to myself. This was fine in most cases because I would just go off and play by myself like that little weirdo kid that you see in the park with no friends. You know, the one everyone feels sorry for? Yeah that was me. But hey, don't feel sorry for me because I used to talk to myself so it wasn't like I was completely alone... Anyway, the point of this is that as a child I was reserved.
On a different but related topic, I had a lot of cousins who were...um...not reserved. Not in the slightest. In fact, some would say, that we were polar opposites. Let me point out, this is not a bad thing. I mean, everyone is different and that's all well and good in my books. We used to play together and I would go along with whatever it was decided that we were playing because I didn't want to kick up a fuss or draw any sort of attention to myself. This is probably where you realize that I haven't changed a whole lot since then, I still hate attention and usually just keep to myself. But let's get back on topic. My cousins loved to carry on and be loud and get attention.
As a result of this, when we were all together the eldest cousin, who was the designated leader, would decide that we were to perform a dance for our parents. And oh did we dance. I can't remember a single gathering where a performance didn't occur. Not only can I not recall a single gathering where a performance didn't occur, I can't recall a single time where I willingly participated. I was coerced into every single performance. I used to go out and tell my mum that I wanted to leave but she would say no because apparently not wanting to dance and would make me an outcast. Thinking back, it was kind of like I knew I would regret going along with them and I was trying to prevent the shame that comes every time I think back on these memories. What does that have to do with the Spice Girls you may ask? I'm pretty sure we performed as them. How I know this? I have a hazy memory of being forced to borrow my cousins button up sport pants and pretending to be Sporty Spice.
I can't write anymore. I'm going to spoon nutella into my mouth and sob until these memories go away.
You see as a child I was reasonably shy. Maybe shy is the wrong word. I was reserved. I didn't really like participating in things and would usually keep my opinions to myself. This was fine in most cases because I would just go off and play by myself like that little weirdo kid that you see in the park with no friends. You know, the one everyone feels sorry for? Yeah that was me. But hey, don't feel sorry for me because I used to talk to myself so it wasn't like I was completely alone... Anyway, the point of this is that as a child I was reserved.
On a different but related topic, I had a lot of cousins who were...um...not reserved. Not in the slightest. In fact, some would say, that we were polar opposites. Let me point out, this is not a bad thing. I mean, everyone is different and that's all well and good in my books. We used to play together and I would go along with whatever it was decided that we were playing because I didn't want to kick up a fuss or draw any sort of attention to myself. This is probably where you realize that I haven't changed a whole lot since then, I still hate attention and usually just keep to myself. But let's get back on topic. My cousins loved to carry on and be loud and get attention.
As a result of this, when we were all together the eldest cousin, who was the designated leader, would decide that we were to perform a dance for our parents. And oh did we dance. I can't remember a single gathering where a performance didn't occur. Not only can I not recall a single gathering where a performance didn't occur, I can't recall a single time where I willingly participated. I was coerced into every single performance. I used to go out and tell my mum that I wanted to leave but she would say no because apparently not wanting to dance and would make me an outcast. Thinking back, it was kind of like I knew I would regret going along with them and I was trying to prevent the shame that comes every time I think back on these memories. What does that have to do with the Spice Girls you may ask? I'm pretty sure we performed as them. How I know this? I have a hazy memory of being forced to borrow my cousins button up sport pants and pretending to be Sporty Spice.
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| They looked like this but had buttons up the side. |
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