The Summer Dress Code

I didn't have anything to write about so I thought I'd jump on facebook and search for inspiration. And, oh boy did inspiration find me. It came in the form of a drug addicted football jock wearing a singlet that showed off his nipples. So here goes, let me introduce you to The Summer Dress Code.

It's almost that glorious time of year where we can enjoy the beach, delicious fruits, catchy new summer tunes and late nights out with friends. However, this exciting time of year comes with responsibilities. The responsibility to dress in such a way that doesn't make people throw up or want to take a photo of you and post it on twitter.

I'm not one to care for fashion, actually I can't imagine a more shallow and materialistic thing to be interested in but for the sake of society's well being you should listen to me. I realize that summer is coming up and people want to celebrate by stripping down and violating my eyes but please don't.

I've only got 3 things listed. Three. You can count that on one hand. Surely that means you can remember it. Guys?? Helllooooo?

Alright. Let's begin.


1. The Male Singlet.

If you want to wear a singlet that's fine. However, if your singlet doesn't cover your nipples then you may need to take a moment to reassess if you even want to wear a shirt at all. That pathetic piece of brightly coloured material that you have draping over your naval does not constitute a shirt.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Don't worry, I found pictures.

2. The Half Shirt

I'm not entirely sure at what point girls decide it's absolutely necessary to buy shirts that are showing off their midriff but they need to cut it right out. It's not cute. Actually it's the opposite. When you look in the mirror I'm sure you see this

But what you actually look like is this:

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying big isn't beautiful or that only skinny girls can wear these shirts. I'm saying no one should wear these shirts. Ever. Regardless of your size.

3. The Tanning Dilemma

I'm not sure this exactly fits in with the dress code theme but in a way it's important. I'm talking about tans. Alright, so this summer disregard what the television is telling you and get some color. You don't have to spend all your spare time outside but just enough so the sun doesn't radiate off your skin and cause blindness. I have no desire to see people the color of Michael Jackson wandering the street.

By tan I mean by the sun. I cannot emphasize that enough. Fake tans are far too unpredictable. You don't want to end up looking like this do you? 

Nope, I didn't think so.