Your game over bitch, gatorade, wet towel.
I have recently started listening to Nicki Minaj. Not really because I like her, more out of curiosity. We sell heaps of copies of her album and I thought I'd see what the fuss was about. I've listened to the complete album through about 4 times now and I can't like it. Morally, I mean. I am morally opposed to liking her. I don't know whether it's the way she cusses relentlessly or the fact that the entire thing is incoherent but regardless I'm not a fan. The worst part about her music is that she wins awards for it. AWARDS GUYS! Is that not the most bizarre thing you have ever heard? No, it's not. You know what the most bizarre thing you've ever heard is? Her lyrics. Haven't heard them? Well prepare to be blown away. I've made my favorite lines yellow for your convenience.
'So where my dawgs at, Randy
Matter of fact, get off my dick bitch, Andy
'Cause everything is fine and dandy
Go against me now, I dare you, Bambi
Half a million dollars just to upgrade the car show
I ain't even detonate the bombs in the arsenal
Before the storm comes the calm
Hope you can take the heat like LeBron,
Ah, ha, ha-ha-ha-ha, ha
I'm the best now, anybody with some money should invest now
Soccer moms need to organize a pep rall'
Your game over bitch, Gatorade, wet towel'
'Your game over bitch, Gatorade, wet towel' is my favorite line. I think I like it because it's incomprehensible. I like nonsense. After listening to this song I decided I would also like to write a song. A rap song. I'm not eloquent but what does that matter? If Nicki Minaj can make millions from her nonsense words then so can I. So here it is. My rap song. It's about money. The lyrics evoke emotion. You'll understand when you read them.
'Sitting on a chair, hair, air.
Couch, louch, yeah yeah yeah bear.
Listen to my words, herds.
I'm hiding in a lair you can't stare,
I dare you to flare, not but you car belt care.
Ey ey ey ling a bring a ling a ding a sing a king, yeah.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
Hoes got a nose not a bros, uh huh.
Scratching head, yed. Lice. Mice.
Saw land thrice. You're not the queen.
Something seen. Third one in, yo. Nice.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
It's a been. Ankiseen. Pop a cap. Sit in lap.
On a napkin, I'm a rappin.
With the fact of a snitch. He be names Mitch.
In ey yo face yo. Ey this fun. Everyone.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
I about transport. Snort.
Snouch, Louch. Mouch.
Skleen. Plean. Nlean.
Rat polish.
Yeah Yeah, yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!'
End.
So there you have it. Any day now I will be expecting a call from a producer so obviously this is copyrighted.
At some point I couldn't think of words that rhyme so I made some up and I think that's okay because I'm a creative type and that's what we do. In case you get confused snouch is a combination of snap and ouch. I didn't make it up. I found it on urban dictionary and if it's good enough to be used by gangsters it's good enough to be in my song. Besides, I feel it really emphasizes my point.
I know that you're probably feeling a lot of emotions after reading my deeply profound lyrics so I'm going to end my blog on a high note. Also, you're welcome.
'So where my dawgs at, Randy
Matter of fact, get off my dick bitch, Andy
'Cause everything is fine and dandy
Go against me now, I dare you, Bambi
Half a million dollars just to upgrade the car show
I ain't even detonate the bombs in the arsenal
Before the storm comes the calm
Hope you can take the heat like LeBron,
Ah, ha, ha-ha-ha-ha, ha
I'm the best now, anybody with some money should invest now
Soccer moms need to organize a pep rall'
Your game over bitch, Gatorade, wet towel'
'Your game over bitch, Gatorade, wet towel' is my favorite line. I think I like it because it's incomprehensible. I like nonsense. After listening to this song I decided I would also like to write a song. A rap song. I'm not eloquent but what does that matter? If Nicki Minaj can make millions from her nonsense words then so can I. So here it is. My rap song. It's about money. The lyrics evoke emotion. You'll understand when you read them.
'Sitting on a chair, hair, air.
Couch, louch, yeah yeah yeah bear.
Listen to my words, herds.
I'm hiding in a lair you can't stare,
I dare you to flare, not but you car belt care.
Ey ey ey ling a bring a ling a ding a sing a king, yeah.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
Hoes got a nose not a bros, uh huh.
Scratching head, yed. Lice. Mice.
Saw land thrice. You're not the queen.
Something seen. Third one in, yo. Nice.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
It's a been. Ankiseen. Pop a cap. Sit in lap.
On a napkin, I'm a rappin.
With the fact of a snitch. He be names Mitch.
In ey yo face yo. Ey this fun. Everyone.
Yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!
I about transport. Snort.
Snouch, Louch. Mouch.
Skleen. Plean. Nlean.
Rat polish.
Yeah Yeah, yo yo yo louch, snouch you have a pouch. Ouch.
Yo yo yo green, spleen. We be much seam.
What that mean? CELINE!'
End.
So there you have it. Any day now I will be expecting a call from a producer so obviously this is copyrighted.
At some point I couldn't think of words that rhyme so I made some up and I think that's okay because I'm a creative type and that's what we do. In case you get confused snouch is a combination of snap and ouch. I didn't make it up. I found it on urban dictionary and if it's good enough to be used by gangsters it's good enough to be in my song. Besides, I feel it really emphasizes my point.
I know that you're probably feeling a lot of emotions after reading my deeply profound lyrics so I'm going to end my blog on a high note. Also, you're welcome.
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