Old people, they're super cute.

It's been a while since I wrote a blog. I've been thinking of something to write for weeks but nothing interesting has happened so I'm resorting to write about my new job. 

Remember when I used to work in retail and everyday I would wake up and quietly sob to myself because I didn't have the strength to get through another day of painfully repetitive pop music and an endless stream of questions from retarded customers? That was horrible. My new job is a billion times better than that. These days I work in aged care. Whenever I tell people this it usually results in them telling me how much they dislike old people which I find amusing because the people I look after are actually the funniest people I know. So when I couldn't come up with something interesting to blog about I decided that I'd just tell you all stories about work. Of course I won't use their real names because of that whole confidentiality thing.

Story 1. 

Some days I get to work with people with dementia. One time, a man I was looking after decided that I was his girlfriend and followed me around for the better part of my 8 hour shift. Not only did he follow me into other residents rooms but his main goal was trying to hold my hand so he could kiss it.

At one point I forgot that he was following me around and turned to find him right behind me. 

Me: OH MY! You're quite close to me aren't you?

Man: that's because you're my girlfriend and I love you *grabs my hand*

Me: awwwwwww

Another cute thing about this man is that he forgets me every shift. I've introduced myself to him at least 45 times. One time the other staff members asked him if he knew me and he said he'd known me since he was a little boy, which was approximately 50 years before I was born.

Story 2. 

Apart from being followed around by mentally confused men I have to chase around people. One lady in particular likes to sneak into other resident's rooms and steal their soap/towels/lollies which she then puts into her walker and returns to her room. Sometimes when I ask her what she's doing she'll tell me that she needs these things to go camping. 

One time I had to get her ready for bed and I walked into her room to find that she had unpacked all the contents of her drawers onto her bed. I asked her why she had done it and she told me that it was because she was leaving in the morning.

Me: *putting things back in the drawer*

Lady: no, no, no those don't go there! They go here. I need them for when I go tomorrow. 

Me: oh let's just but them here until then, that way you can go to sleep. 

Lady: I don't have time to sleep...do you want a biscuit?

I should mention, they always offer me food. Lollies, old biscuits, fruit. Anything, if they have it they'll offer me some. It's really sweet.

Me: no thanks. I will close the tin and put it away for you though

Lady: *hands me tin*

Me: *struggling with tin* I don't know why this won't close *opens tin to find a set of dentures*

After finally clearing the bed and convincing her to get into her pajamas I suggested that it was time for bed to which I was told 'I CAN'T GO TO BED YOU STUPID GIRL, I NEED TO SING ON STAGE'. She said this while getting into bed though so that was a win.